


She Thought Too Much

by zmacroura



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mild Language, post-dancing all night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 03:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zmacroura/pseuds/zmacroura
Summary: Rise always said she thought too much.Post-Dancing All Night.





	She Thought Too Much

Rise had been the one to suggest that Naoto was one to think too much. In truth, she knew it to be very much fact, but the statement coming from a dear friend had weighed heavily on her mind and led to even more thought and reflection. So when Rise also suggested that Naoto use dancing to simply express the feelings she neglected in favor of her reasoning, Naoto took that challenge very seriously.

Even after the events of LMB, the former Investigation Team had continued their lessons with Rise. Many of the others thought they were doing so in secret, but Naoto had caught each of them on separate occasions on her few visits to Inaba rehearsing steps to a new routine. It was no surprise. It had strengthened all of their bonds, and the truth was, dancing was actually… fun. 

That’s why when Kanji confided to Naoto that he’d been taking lessons with another instructor outside the small town, Naoto confessed her own continued rehearsals. That’s why she was even here, staring back at her dance partner with her heart racing faster than it ever had before.

Rise had said she thought too much. So when she began practicing alone with Kanji, Naoto had taken up the challenge once again and simply let herself move. It had felt wonderful and exhilarating, and Kanji had been so present and energetic, pulling her in each time like a magnet. His energy was affecting and… winsome…

The leap in progress from LMB to now was astounding. He was less stiff and rough, more fluid and open. It made being his dance partner so much less intimidating and made thinking that much less appealing. That’s why it had happened. In that final lift. That’s why she’d…

“What the _hell_ just happened?” he asked, staring at the floor with his hands crawling through his hair. His eyes fleeted back and forth, as if watching a replay in his mind in disbelief, trying desperately to process the information.

Naoto chewed her lip, heart still racing. She wasn’t sure if she should respond. What had felt so right before suddenly felt so wrong. He wouldn’t look at her, his eyes still focused on the non-existent replay, and Naoto started feeling the need to just run out of the room. But no longer dancing, her logic kicked on into high gear, telling her to second guess the impulse and stay put.

But Kanji could not look up, as if he was locked into this position of confusion and disbelief. Naoto’s throat tightened, voice catching as she sputtered out, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He still didn’t look up. He may have wanted to say something to her, but it came out as a shattered breath instead. Naoto felt her fight or flight instinct flare up again, desperately wanting her to flee, but she fought the urge, more afraid of hurting Kanji further.

After everything that happened with the television world, with Nanako’s life being in danger, and all of the regret she felt over not catching Adachi sooner, the one she had found herself constantly leaning on had been Kanji. If she faced the facts, it was inevitable how close they had gotten. He may have been her opposite, to the point of being her foil, but his ability to speak so boldly from the heart and his surprisingly patient expression of empathy were really the make of the perfect companion for her. It was as Rise said - Naoto thought too much - and Kanji was really the only one able to break past that barrier. Kanji had made feeling easier. So she couldn’t bring herself to just leave him when he looked so lost.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. She clenched her fists at her sides, trying to find some form of strength to say what she was feeling, what she was thinking, or at this point, to say anything at all. “I- I clearly misunderstood. I-” Her voice caught again, and she attempted to swallow but her mouth was dry. She tried again, although her voice was quiet, “I thought… you felt the same way. I thought you wanted…” She couldn’t continue, too afraid of saying things out loud and acknowledging the error as a fixed reality. She’d rather deny it ever happened. “I’m sorry.”

Kanji bolted forward as she shrunk away, grabbing her by her shoulders and bending over to stare directly into her eyes. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” he sputtered as he moved, and she gasped, terrified at the intense pleading look in his eyes. “Finish that sentence.”

She was unable to speak, mouth trembling as she breathed heavily, so he prompted her, “You thought _what_ ? You thought I wanted _what_?”

Naoto took a deep, shaky breath in and looked away. She wanted to deny it. She couldn’t tell him if he was going to stare at her so needingly. “I thought,” she whispered, and her voice just continued to trail off. “I thought… you wanted me to kiss you.”

The silence that followed made her want to drop to her knees and cry. If he let go of her right here, she might not be able to fight her impulses any longer, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he shook her slightly. “Pinch me.”

She met his eyes again. “What?”

“Pinch me. Hit me. Somethin’. I need to know I’m not dreamin’.”

Naoto stared back, shocked and unsure of how to read the expression on his face. The furrow of his brow showed fear, but the way the corners of his lips made his cheeks dimple slightly even when his jaw was agape almost seemed...happy. She couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing. “Wh- why would you be dreaming?” she finally asked.

Something she recognized- the way his cheeks flushed whenever she asked a question he was embarrassed to answer. Embarrassment? Was that what he was feeling? Her heart sunk deeper. Had she humiliated him somehow? Was she embarrassing? She felt her throat swell as if she were about to cry. _Dammit, not now._

“I- uh-” Kanji fumbled over words as his grip on her shoulders loosened, falling to her arms, and she locked her knees to keep herself standing, still drawn to the idea of collapsing onto the floor. “I mean- I. Shit, Naoto. ‘Cause of course I-” Kanji swallowed hard, his face becoming two shades more red, and she dropped her eyes, no longer able to look at him.

“I embarrassed you. I’m sorry. I-” Naoto felt the tears start to fall. Rise had said she thought too much, and she suddenly remembered why she opted for reason as opposed to emotion. Because in the end, all feelings connect to pain. With logic, she could sever the connections to pain and walk numbly through life, but when she let herself feel and get carried away, she left herself vulnerable to heartbreak. Try as she might to deny what she knew rationally, coming to the conclusion after the careful, many hours a night recalling every conversation and text and phone call and stolen dance, Naoto knew that she had begun to feel something for Kanji, and now she had to face the facts that would inevitably cause her the pain that followed those feelings.

“Embarrassed me?” Kanji’s voice sounded so far away despite being so close. She must have apologized again. His voice got louder. “Stop apologizin’ already! You ain’t got shit to say sorry for! An’ - hey, are you cryin’?”

She sniffled and wiped her face hard with her sleeve. This was the problem with abandoning thought. This was why she thought too much. Because once she opened herself up to feelings and her emotions, they washed over her relentlessly in a torrent. The cool, calm, collected head of a detective lost to the child who grew up too quickly.

“Wait, shit, do you-” Kanji’s voice started to crack the way it did when he was flustered, but he wasn’t able to finish asking his question. Instead, his hands released her arms, and without his grip holding her together, her knees buckled beneath her as she fell to the floor.

But they never hit the ground. Kanji’s arm swung beneath her, as smooth and strong as it did in their lifts, and she grabbed hold of his neck out of instinct and fear of falling as he pulled her close to his chest. “Kanji?” she choked, looking up from the floor at him, startled by the suddenness of it all. Her face was inches from his again, and her breathing caught in her chest as she met his eyes with yet another expression she didn’t recognize.

“Fuck it, if it’s a dream, I’ll deal with it in the mornin’,” and with those words, his lips met hers in a passionate, adoring kiss. Her heart pounded, kissing him back impulsively. She had no time to think about what was happening or what he had said, too overcome by her own feelings to do that...thinking thing.

When he did part, he pressed his forehead to hers. “Kanji,” she gasped, looking at him with bloodshot eyes and heaving chest. He was panting, too, but the expression on his face was one she actually knew. He flashed her the biggest, snaggle-toothed grin- the one he would give her when he proudly passed a test. “I thought-”

“You thought right,” he chuckled. “I really, _really_ wanted you to kiss me.”


End file.
